I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
operation have a gay friend backfired
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
