with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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