was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
