doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
