i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
