No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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