We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
