just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize