who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
