ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
