I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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