Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
