i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
