i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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