You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize