Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
