checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
