Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
