I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
