Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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