youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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