He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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