How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
