Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
