my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize