The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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