So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
