she woke up with a sticky ear
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
