it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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