Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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