census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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