I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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