Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
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his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
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We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am naked and annoyed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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