so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
