just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
