Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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