I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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