Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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