i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
