My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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