Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
