So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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