I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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