I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
