Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
