and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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