He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
