Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
