summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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