I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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