Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
