Welp...herpes.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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