How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
