Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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