yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
the liver wants what the liver wants
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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