i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
