You can't motorboat a personality
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
