Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
