Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
