So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
