I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
