Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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