I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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