So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
