like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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