you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
