Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i will never coherently bang her
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
