i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
